Alter Ego (8/10/17)
Let me start by saying that I have learned something new about myself today. What that is…I don’t know yet, but I imagine it will eventually manifest in my increasingly dynamic life. I’m currently on day three of my [social media] hibernation, and, at this rate, I may not return? Why is that? Because of time!
I have so much time to myself, and for myself; no longer spending it by scrolling through live stories and posts (no disrespect). Its not just about me “reclaiming my time,” but also learning to invest it into something worthwhile. For me, that is art.
Just on this day alone (and yes, it was only a 24-hour day), I composed a new song for an upcoming project, sorted through a couple GB worth of concert photography (NC Spirit ’17), and then I decomposed by enjoying four, uninterrupted hours of painting. Now, to the average person, these creative tasks may seem daunting-and I wholeheartedly agree-but, if I was not doing them, then what else would I invest my time in? Who knows, but I am steadily becoming aware of something, a new revelation that has awakened: I am made up of more than one.
I’m sure this abstract admittance will baffle a few, and many will dismiss this as another artist lost in their own world (this is true); however, to those who will entreat me and my words, allow me to explain. For every creative outlet that exists within my world, there is an “ego” that undertakes these creative endeavors. Before I go any further, let me also state this: I am not referring to actual personalities or beings; I am me, and me, alone.
What I’ve come to understand is that each art form is different (duh!) but not just because of the mediums or techniques; each requires a varying essence from an individual. Take the act of writing: we use words, technical thoughts transcribed; these same words exist on a plane and we, the author, use these building blocks to tell a literary tale. On the flip-side, painting can be done without a single logical thought, these examples may lack in significance-because I am only a few hours into this realization-but, what I’m ultimately trying to get at is an idea. These art forms are acted upon by different “egos”.
There is the me that labors on the keyboard for hours, trying to weave a woeful story; the me that relies on instinct and accuracy and the technical settings of a camera; the me that welcomes rhythm into my reality, and also labors on a keyboard (one with 88 keys); the me that turns off the rational thought, and attempts to use bristles and brushes to cover canvases with emotions…and so on. This phenomenon known as the “alter ego” deserves more research, I will continue to make note of it as I move through my own little world of wonder (Eureka!)